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| First of all, I am officially done with the semester! I'm so incredibly glad to be done!!! I can't even begin to say how relieved that makes me! This semester was an unending uphill battle and I won. Woo hoo!!!
Yesterday I also finished up some work at First Parish which mostly had to do with teaching about a time capsule that people at the church had buried in 1900 and no one really knows about it much, but also I led a baby dedication yesterday which was stressing me out for lots of reasons. For one thing, the dad chose a scripture for the service which was incredibly hard to work with... Genesis 22:11-18...it's the scene where Abraham is asked to sacrifice his son to God and takes him up to the mountain top to do it.... Ugh! Why would you choose that piece for a Christening?
Eventually what ended up happening was that I suggested to the dad that he talk about why he'd chosen this scripture and then read it himself during the service (rather than me!) And you know what, he did the most amazing job of telling us about wanting to have faith that great, how he could never imaging killing his own son, how he loves his son so much, how he wants to love God that much too, and how he wants his son to have a deep love of God. He cried as he stood there saying how he feels like we stand on the shoulders of our biblical fathers who had such great faith, and how he'd like to be able to give up the willfullness that keeps him apart from all of humanity and from God.
So I learned something about
trusting the process, and listening to what is most meaningful in the
other person rather than letting my own worries get in the way. It was moving for everyone, even those people who came for the baby and not the churchy - experience. I almost cried myself. And all the while beforehand I'd almost asked him to pick another piece of scripture out of my own fear of talking about God and killing and children all in one breath. But he did it so well. I learned so much about trusting the process. (I'd called him to check in about it and been really direct about my concerns and he'd told me his ideas and I'd left the rest up to the will of the universe. Letting go of my own willfull nature - the lesson he was trying to get at! - was key.) I think I'll write to him and tell him thank you!
All right, I'm gonna go because today is my last day off. Tomorrow summer school begins. It's a class called "Narrative Therapy" which sounds interesting so that's a relief. I think it's about using the pastoral process with people, helping them to tell their stories in order to heal and lead more fullfilling spiritual lives. Well, at least that's what I think it is. And it's Sat/Unsat, so I can stop worrying about grades. Phew.
Anyone got a clue about how to get my photos to appear correctly on my web pages? Molly, didn't you have trouble with that before?
Love, Megan
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| Last week I finally finished
the 34 page paper and the 22 page paper. I also wrote a fiver and two
oners. I was SO tired I slept for so long on Saturday. The good part
about the whole adventure though, was meeting this woman, Julia, who
worked on the Anti Racism paper with me. She's awesome and I think
we'll stay friends now. After pulling some all-nighters at her house
just getting the work done, we know one another in a realm outside of
just the classroom experience. Sometimes it can be hard to break that
barrier, you know?
So
now I just have to do this one paper about this theologian called
Weiman who wrote The Source of Human Good and one more about the work
of this dude called Paanksepp who wrote about affective neuroscience,
and THEN I'll be done!!!! Oh I can't wait!!!! Thursday here I come....
Last night Glynnis and I spent a long time IMing on line and as we've been known to do in the past, we bet each other who would finish our paper first. At four AM we'll take any motivator we can get! Well, the prize is that whoever wins gets a poem written by the other person. Except over the course of the last month or so we each had so much work that one or the other of us kept winning and now I find that I've moved from owing her a simple Lymeric to a Villanelle!!!
I didn't even know what that was, but apparantly...
How to Write a Villanelle
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This traditional poetic form consists of five triplets and one
quatrain. Written in iambic pentameter, the form utilizes repeating
lines as well as a rhyme scheme.
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Steps:
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1.
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Consider the subject matter that you wish to address in your poem. It's
often a good idea to select the repeating lines ahead of time.
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2.
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Write a three-line stanza in iambic pentameter with an a-b-a rhyme
scheme, followed by a second three-line stanza in iambic pentameter
with an a-b-a rhyme scheme. Use the first line of the first stanza as
the third line of the second stanza.
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3.
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Compose a third three-line stanza in iambic pentameter with an a-b-a
rhyme scheme. Use the last line of the first stanza as your third line.
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4.
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Draft a fourth three-line stanza in iambic pentameter with an a-b-a
rhyme scheme. Use the first line of the first stanza as your third
line.
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5.
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Write a fifth three-line stanza in iambic pentameter with an a-b-a
rhyme scheme. Use the last line of the first stanza as your third line.
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6.
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Compose a quatrain in iambic pentameter with an a-b-a rhyme scheme. Use
the first and last lines of the first stanza as your third and fourth
lines.
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7.
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Revise as needed.
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Oh dear. This is going to be a challenge!!! Anyone out there good at this kind of thing??? (Why didn't I write faster!!!  ) - Meg
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| So I'm getting my courage up to invite people to read my blog. Today I invited four people. Yikes! I'm realizing that I only invite people who aren't judgemental of me, and who know me personally, because it's kind of neat to have a place to share thoughts, and a way to stay in touch... but it's also a challenge to just put my thoughts out there and not worry about who's reading it and what they'll think of me. I find that in a lot of ways my life is constricted by me trying to fit in the mold of being what I think others want me to be... you know, saying the right thing so that I'll be liked. So this blog isn't really like that. It's me being me. I mean, I hope you like me, but I'm also not going to say stuff just so that you will. I hope that makes sense.
Alright four new people! Come on in! Get a Xanga site or tell me your blog or make comments on things and we'll be ourselves on line together... No fako nicety nice. Just real. A moth bright white under the moon. Stark and brilliant and free.
Talk to you soon! Meg
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Just went on a rainy walk talking to Nima... We were talking about sexism and I told him my view of oppression. It seems to me like the nature of oppression is that it divides us from one another... I picture it like an elephant stomping it's foot down on a bunch of tiny mice. The mice see it coming and race to get out from under, and the foot catches just the tails. The mice are then caught, doing the best they can, just scrabbling trying to race away, and aren't able to fight together against anything (like they would have if they were all caught in the same net, for example.) Oppression, (take sexism, coming in the form of the beautification industry for an example) makes us feel separated from one another so that we don't have the strength to fight against it for what it is. (We feel that it's a personal problem we have...like I'm personally too fat or too ugly etc,) rather than seeing how it's the nature of sexism that's attacking women and making us compete against eachother. Our capitalistic society benefits when we feel bad about ourselves and have to buy products to fix ourselves. So then instead of figuring out what to do all together to fight against the messages we receive about our beauty or dignity, we spend our energy just trying not to feel bad about our appearance and fitting in. Sometimes though, we can see how the media and the rest of society is doing this too us, and then we feel even worse because we hate ourselves for having bought into the system in the first place.
I watch my friends struggle with the decision about whether or not to shave their legs. I've heard it described this way: Well, why should women shave? Who is setting the standard of beauty? Men don't have to shave... It gets prickly when growing back, hair keeps a person warm, it grows there - so why take it off, it's a nuisance to upkeep the shaving...plus, why do we need to change ourselves to look beautiful for others? And yet, women who don't shave are given a wicked hard time about it - told they are ugly, made to feel less feminine, or that they have an "agenda..." And then some women say they do it for themselves, but this is a slippery slope too. We've internalized a standard of beauty so much that it feels like it really is for us to feel good. And sometimes it does. But if I think about it I realize there more things I do in order to not have to face feeling bad about myself, than to make myself feel good. Because either way, beautifying myself or choosing not too, I'm finding my place within the confines of a system of oppression.
By shaving one is making a statement, and by not-shaving one is too. There's no way not to play a role in the discussion except to hide. And so many women do. We go underground with our thoughts and anger and disapointments and shame... wear pants all summer or just don't talk about the matters on our hearts, (be it hair or "the pill" or women presidents, (GO LIBERIA AND CHILE!!!) or abortion rights...) we get quiet because it can be so hard to play the game or even find our voices in the first place.
So I know my analogy of the elephant foot doesn't lead into an example of how we can all work together against oppression, but I do think that's the goal. I think we get to figure out how to see ourselves as allies to one another...and the first step is to not buy into the ways that oppression makes us turn on each other. Ok, so for me.... concrete examples here so I'm not just doing theory without real life... I think I let myself be critical of women sometimes when they don't fight back against sexism. I watch women who are acting timid or like they don't have thoughts about how things should go, and I just get so mad. I find myself yelling inside... you do have thoughts! Speak! Why don't you share your mind!!! Don't let people believe you're just another dumb woman! But this isn't going to help. I have to remember that it's not her fault that she's internalized the sexism and now operates that way because it's the way she was forced into due to the way her life was... Plus, the reason it makes me so mad is that I myself get stuck that way.. sitting in class feeling too dumb to talk, wishing I could only share my thoughts like the men do... half believing I'm not smart enough, or quick enough.
So in my own life, I'm here, pledging to myself that in as many ways as possible, I won't participate in turning against women. I'll catch myself if I start thinking someone is too fat or too messy or too slow or too dumb. I know for me, that my own first step is a consciousness raising of every time I allow myself to be critical of other women. I guess it comes from me not wanting to feel bad about myself, but it won't help anyone, myself included, to take part in the competition that sexism sets up. So starting from right now, I'm going to begin reconstructing the way I think about other women in my life. I won't stand for negative societal messages that train me to write some women off or compare myself to others. Each of us is amazing and precious and good and we get to have one another, not get separated because of societal pressures. This idea about women is my own first step against oppression.
All righty. Can't believe you read all the way down to here. This was a mighty long rant. I must really want to procrastinate about my paper. But I am off again... Back to reading Paul Razor's Faith Without Certainty. It's actually really good. Thursday I'll be all done. Can't wait.
Bye for now! Love, Megan
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| Ok, so I'm officially complaining. I stayed up all night writing this one darn paper and was SO SO SO tired and got to class the next day to turn it in and it turned out that it wasn't due until the next week! Can you believe that! And the worst part about it is that I hadn't completed it to my satisfaction, so now I'm back to being a perfectionist and I'm still working on it instead of just turning it in and being done. Ack, someone stop me.
All right, I am hereby making a pact with myself:
I, Meggie the Moo, will stop working on this paper tonight. I'll finish it and be done. DONE!!
Ok, enough of that. I found a great poem today. It's inspiring me to just finish up this semester and get on with changing the world...
Ready??
Be Like Water
BY KENDRA FORD,
MINISTER, FIRST UNITARIAN SOCIETY
EXETER, NEW HAMPSHIRE
 run deep run clear
fill any space to its own dimensions
respond to the moon, to gravity
change colors with the light
hold your temperature longer than the surrounding
air
take the coast by storm
go under ground
bend light
be the one thing people need, even when they're
fasting
eat boulders, quietly
be a universal solvent
Oh, isn't it great? Eat boulders quietly! HA! Papers here I come! Only four more to go!!! (why does it feel like bending light??)
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